Abolishball
There’s this sport I invented a while back called Abolishball,…
As a comment to a post where I shared Cattle Industry Enjoys Seeing Us Divided with Friendly and pragmatic vegans and vegetarians, Simon Dwyer came up with this witty analogy. I loved it. Simply loved it.
There’s this sport I invented a while back called Abolishball, and I really, desperately want to create a competitive national league in Australia. Some kids wanted to play but I didn’t think there was any point forming a junior competition because they wouldn’t be ready for the national league for at least ten years. There were a bunch of guys playing in a B league on weekends, but I told them to get lost because they weren’t even doing it properly — they were never going to be true Abolishball players. I spoke to Channel 7 about TV rights and they were interested but said they wouldn’t stop showing the football. I told them it’s my sport or nothing so they couldn’t have the Abolishball rights. I invited the AFL, rugby and soccer league reps to meet with me and they came. But instead of giving up their own sports to play mine, all they would do was agree to donate funds to support a local league. Naturally I told them what I thought about them and stormed out of the meeting.
Abolishball is a great game but 30 years later and I’m still trying to get that national league up and running. I just can’t work out why no one is interested in playing.
Simon Dwyer
